It’s ridiculous how numbers are such an important indicator of our self worth. Right now, I can’t sleep since all I can think about is what mark I need to get in order to get into the life sciences program. Either that or biology. Or transfer to commerce. Any option I have requires a great GPA. Medical school requires a (nearly) flawless GPA. Getting a job requires a good GPA. How come everything depends on how well I do on an exam? I much prefer our efforts to be focused on maintaining a cool demeanour and a good heart, traits that are essential to be loved by others. But instead, we all fight and backstab each other to get that GPA.

I feel stripped of my emotions. I miss affection and comfort. I miss giving attention and love. Walking in the park. Pho and sushi. I miss lazy days and playing the piano. I miss Rachmaninoff and Chopin. Holding hands and cuddling with a loved one. Did I sacrifice too much. I hurt myself and others, and I’m sorry.

I miss being young and immature, but now I have to be better so I can be in a career that I’ve always dreamed of. I want to be a doctor for the right reasons. Yet, heartless, selfish people are accepted into med school every semester.

Rhinoceroses are my focus for tomorrow. One more paper, then studying. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Sergei Rachmaninov

(via fuckyeahrachmaninov)

(via ilovegoalies)

(Source: silberns, via sleeniondaroof)

52hearts:

piano keys

“the delicate bones that make up the tiny curves of your spine make me want to glide my fingers across them like they are the black and white keys on a piano and i am just starting to learn my favorite song the way i’ve always wanted to learn you.”

(via enchanting-ghost)

vanessamariet:

Winta Break.

I’m going to miss Calgary.

(Source: miggysmalls92, via enchanting-ghost)

(Source: worldasweknowit, via thepianomotif)

musicalmelody:

Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No. 2

(Source: sfmvrn, via psychoticpianist)

It’s 3 am. I’m on a sugar high. I should probably go to bed, but I can’t. Partially because I most likely won’t be able to sleep. Partially because I don’t want to Skype hang up on Vanessa.

musicalmelody:

What I tell myself every time before I start to play. 

(Source: vanessamariet)

How is it that I am a university student studying science when only a few years ago, my priority was music?

How was I able to wake up at 5:30 am for a piano lesson when currently an 8:30 lecture is a challenge to attend?

How did I ever find the time to practice piano for hours on end every day when I can now only forage a few moments each week to play the lounge piano?

I miss studying music seriously. What I would give to just drop these books for a while and indulge in this new found craving.

jasonssymphony:

And they lived happily ever after… by Have Your Cake and Eat it too :) on Flickr.

(via sleeniondaroof)

(via musicalmelody)